Dear Mallory and Mary,
Thank you for the delightful time spent waiting in the company of strangers. I was worried that I was a bit late, and then realized that time is a loop of an illusion, and we are all just fumbling in darkness. The chance to be still was like settling into a long phone call with a wandering great aunt. You’re just going to be there for 45 minutes or so, the stories might not have an ending or a point, but the most elegant way to show care is to just listen.
I put on the headphones and sank back into late 90’s local radio station vibes, holding my cassette recorder to the radio, waiting to record my favorite song when the DJ finally played it. I fumbled with the headphones. I took a long time deciding where to sit. Then I moved to another chair, then to a bolster, then just kind of wandered around the room, watching other people listening. I stretched and took some deep breaths. I noticed the laughter from the other performance, and felt a pang of envy. I relished the time to just sit and watch and listen. I chatted with the woman sitting across from me about how we both got here, and what forms we had filled out. I thought a lot about birds and pockets. I remembered how delicious the word umbra tastes.
The host finally called my number, and plunged into a stinging cold whisky shot of a conversation. And interview? And interrogation? She knew so much about me from my silly answers. She knew I sometimes made conventional choices even when I hated them. She knew I had a familiarity with shadows and a lust for adventure. There is such a deep pleasure in having someone pay you their full attention for 5 minutes. I am still hoping I will get selected to be an agent, or a host, or a bird, or a shadow. Or a DJ. And maybe I am already all of those things, but I just need to stop waiting and make some more innovative choices.
-Anne
BTW, promote that intern, they really know how to make everyone feel welcome.
Mallory Vance is a producer for Phoenix Tears Productions. Their show, 94.4 WAIT FM Presents the Waiting Room, plays Sept 12-27th at Studio 34.
Anne Brashier’s immersive show, Carnival of Feelings, played Sept 1st-4th at the Asian Arts Initiative.
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