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Mars Doesn’t Want Us

Pier Players Theatre Co.


Categories: Theater, Comedy & Improv

Dates: September 21, 2023 - September 23, 2023

Run Time: 90 mins

Venue: Arden Theatre - Arcadia Stage


Earth is sick. The Moon has a toxic work-life balance. Venus really wants to be populated. And Mars doesn’t. Who knew floating rocks could be so needy?

The world of Mars Doesn’t Want Us is filled with all sorts of oddly shaped, unique personalities with grand hopes and dreams of their own. Turns out, their lives are quite similar to ours. There’s corporate career ladders, sports that feel way too important, and overly complicated relationships. Can’t stand any of your neighbors? Mercury’s been there. Haven’t taken a vacation in 12,000 years? The Moon knows your struggle.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “I wonder what the planets are thinking,” Mars Doesn’t Want Us answers that question imaginatively. Join us as we unravel the biggest mysteries of the Milky Way, like: Did Earth like dinosaurs more than they like us?

While farcical at heart, Mars Doesn’t Want Us aims to tell a deeply personal story with universal implications about purpose, forgiveness, and friendship. Mars explores the beauty and the ugly of all forms of life, through the lens of the beings that have been there since the beginning.

Mars Doesn’t Want Us is written and directed by Joe Falcone and produced by Chelsea Cylinder. The show is presented by Pier Players Theatre Co.

Appropriate for ages 13+. Drinks will be served for anyone 21+.

About the Artist

Pier Players is a brand new theatre company dedicated to promoting, supporting, and giving a platform to the Philadelphia community’s new works and new visions for pre-existing pieces. The company was founded by local theatre artists Chelsea Cylinder, Julianne Kastner, Kate Brighter, Joe Falcone, and Vanessa Torres.


  • Chelsea CylinderProducer
  • Joe FalconeWriter/Director
  • Kate BrighterCast Member
  • Chelsea CylinderCast Member
  • Josh GoldCast Member
  • Ethan JovanovicCast Member
  • Julianne KastnerCast Member
  • Noelle McLeerCast Member
  • Vanessa TorresCast Member
  • Noah LeeTech Coordinator
  • Julianne KastnerMarketing Coordinator/Graphics Designer
  • Kate BrighterChoreographer
  • Hallie Eble-SchraderStage Manager
  • Sam GoldwertAssistant Stage Manager/Assistant Director
  • Vanessa TorresArtistic Associate

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